


The Nightmares of the Past

by Hopelessoul



Series: Sanders sides oneshots [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Crying, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, If I think of any additional tag they will be added, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 05:38:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15965822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopelessoul/pseuds/Hopelessoul
Summary: Virgil has been having nightmares because of what happened with the dark sides and he talks to the one person who knows the whole story and will give him comfort.





	The Nightmares of the Past

I wake up with a start. The nightmares have never left me. What the dark sides have done to me. I know the light sides say that I act more like them, but I still have the fangs that mark me as a dark side. I hate them because there is only one other side like me that I can trust. He is the only one that knows the full story and I know that I can always go to him. 

I have only known pain until I was finally accepted by the light sides and they treat me better then I could ever imagine and better then I deserve. 

That is when the tears start. The ghosts of my past have never left, and I am sure will never will. I just wish that I could have a week where I had more then 7 hours in total. I know it is a problem, but I don’t have the confidence to tell the others that I am having these problems. They know I have a complicated past, but they don’t know a single detail and it is honestly better that way. Knowing to much can be dangerous. That one dark side only knows because he was there for most of it, but I don’t blame him because he was powerless to stop it happening, but I know he blames himself.

That is when the sobbing starts. It is too much for me to handle. The mental and physical pain, the sleepless nights and constant flash backs. I just with the torture would end. I decide I need a hot chocolate to try and settle myself to sleep. It may work because I have seen Patton doing the same thing, so it must be worth a shot.

I walk almost silently down the corridor to the kitchen and when I get there I start making the drink. I am so absorbed in my task that I don’t notice the fact that Deceit is standing right behind me.

“ _Can_ sleep”

I jump out my skin but luckily, I put the mug down to boil the kettle, so it didn’t spill. I can tell its Deceit.

“Nope, why are you awake?” I say trying to hide my tear stained face.

“I _was_ in the mood for sleep. You _didn’t_ have a nightmare didn’t you.” The deceitful side says clearly concerned.

“Yeah. I did.” I say quietly. No need to lie to him because he knows everything anyway.

“Do you _not_ want to talk about it” Deceit says. 

I nod, and he brings me to sit on the couch and he holds his arms out and I curl myself into them and I listen to his heart beat. I find how constant it is comforting. Our relationship is purely platonic, but constancy comforts me.

“I was back in the area of the mindscape belonging to the dark sides. They were calling me a disease and a disorder. They tied me in a cupboard and they just beat me whenever the wanted to. Also, whenever they wanted to they… they…” I don’t want to say it but by the way Deceit’s breath hitches he can tell what I mean.

“Look at me.” By his tone of voice and the way his voice is I can tell he will tell the truth by what he says next. 

“I know what they did to you and I am aware of the pain they put you through. I am so sorry that I did nothing to stop what happened I could’ve stopped it and I did nothing.” Deceit says beginning to cry clearly feeling guilty.

“It is not your fault. If anything could have been done to stop what happened I would have said something long before now. I do not blame you in the slightest.” 

“But I now understand a part of what you went through and I can barley stand it sometimes.” Deceit says quietly.

I am confused now. I can tell he is about to start lying again. It is his coping mechanism.

“When I _didn’t_ help you escape from there they _didn’t_ start to take it out on me. They _didn’t_ beat me or call me names. They _didn’t_ do the thing to me too.” Deceit says with tears pouring down his face.

“Deceit I am so sorry. I wish you never had to go through all of that.”

“I wish you _had_ you to go through that too. Sometimes I _can’t_ only hear them saying my name with pure hatred and I _can’t_ tell you feel the same way.”

“Jacob. I wish you never feel that way again. We will work through this together. Like we always have” I say hugging him back.

“Thank you, Virgil.”

“No, Thank you Jacob”

**Author's Note:**

> I figured out how to do italics. I should not be as happy with it as I am right now. I will go through Our Missing Piece and add it in.


End file.
